Manual for Success or Survival Guide?

In a recent study of 1 Peter 3 that I was in, we were discussing the verses about wives submitting to husbands and husbands loving their wives. I got the distinct impression that the verses were being taken as a formula for a successful marriage. Is that really the context of the statements in 1 Peter? Does a successful marriage really need a formula? Does a "good" marriage need these instructions at all?

If you read carefully the first verses of 1 Peter 3, you will see that they refer us back to 1 Peter 2 which talks about the suffering of Jesus. Though he suffered, he loved to the end.

Since the "wives and husbands" discussion in chapter 3 refers back to the suffering of Jesus at the hands of others, isn't chapter 3 teaching how a wife should live with a husband who doesn't love as she loves him? Isn't Peter teaching a husband how to love his wife even though she doesn't submit to him as he submits to her?

I'll admit that a marriage is a lot more pleasant if both parties are submitting to and loving one another, but I doubt that it offers anywhere near the opportunities for growth that a marriage with suffering has to offer.

To suffer and still submit, to be persecuted and still love, this is the way of Jesus. Although this is a hard way to walk, we walk it with Jesus and we count it all joy just to be with him.